Saying goodbye to your father
by poembaa
Summary: Jack got stood up by Declan and was faced having to scatter his fathers ashes. This additional scene plays in episode 3 of season 1. Right after Emily returned Sammy for the second time.


"well, not quite alone" he said. Emily looked at him, clearly weighing the options in her mind. Stay or go. "Jack, seriously, this is not something you should do on your own." Jack looked up from his hands, busy untying knots on the dock. What was that in his eyes? Hope? Or maybe just surprise. Emily took a step forward "I have time now, I can come with you…. Only if you want me too, off course. I do not want to impose in such a private matter. It's just ….. I myself lost my father and I know how hard it can hit, especially when being alone." Jack shrugged "If you want …" Emily heard the reluctant tone in his voice, but she decided not to listen to it. In this moment, she knew Jack would need a friendly person around. If only just to not feel totally alone on that sheer open water.

She boarded the Amanda and sat next to Sammy, who looked up at her with a twinkle in his eyes. His two favorite humans together on the boat, his life just got good. Jack finished untying the boat and stepped on board as well, sitting next to Sammy and Emily. He was caught up in his own thoughts. Thoughts about his father, but also worries about Declan and the Stowaway. And then there was Emily. He felt so good around her, but he did not know her at all, how was that possible? A person he had only spoken to a couple of times and he felt right at home with her, even trusted her. And offcourse there was the huge gap between them called money. Jack didn't say a word the entire time they were sailing out to sea. Emily just let him be. What was there to say. So she just sat there, stroking Sam, looking out over the water. She felt his arm when he handled the rudder just not touching her back. She had time to think back when she first had time to grieve her father. It had not been since years after his death. The pain was always there, even now, but it was not as raw as it was those years ago.

Jack walked to the back of the vessel to lower the anchor. This was it. He took the urn from the cabin and walked to the edge of the Amanda. Staring over the open sea, remembering his father. Emily walked up behind him and placed her hand on his back. "I never knew your father, maybe you can tell me a story about him?". Jack sighed. He had loved his father dearly, but the man was not without flaws. Than he thought of the time his father learned him how to sail and little Declan almost fell overboard trying to catch the bow waves. He smiled, and tears came to his eyes. Emily just watched the different emotions that came to his face. Jack scattered the ash over the waves and whispered "goodbye dad, I love you and I will miss you". His voice breaking over the last three words. Emily broke contact and he felt suddenly very alone. Sammy came up to him from behind and nudged his hand with his warm, wet nose.

The three of them walked back into the cabin, it was getting chilly outside and they all could use the shelter. Jack sat across from Emily, hands on the table, fists clutched. She briefly touched his hands, just to make them relax. She found it heart breaking to see him this … hopeless. That's the word, he was not just feeling sad. He looked up in Emily's eyes, looking for, for some kind of reassurance. She could not bare to look in his eyes and thus lowered her gaze. Here and now, she felt like a traitor. He needed to know who she really was.

"Shall I make us some coffee?" that was a safe way out of this situation. A situation she felt heartbroken over. She knew she should tell him who she really was, but she could not yet let go of her very detailed plans for revenge. She cold not tell him, not now, maybe not ever. She should keep a little more distance between them, but mostly, she should armor her heart better. Not let anyone get through, not even Jack. So she thought of her father and the injustice that became his life and caused his death. Slowly, while poring on coffee, she felt her mind harden. Keep your eyes on the ball. Do not loose focus. The few minutes keeping her hands busy were all she needed in order to get back to what she was doing. Helping Jack work through his first and primal mourning as a good friend. He would not need to know how close a friend she actually was. It would not matter much to him just now. She put both mugs in front of Jack and sat next to him on cushions which were meant to make the hard wooden bench more comfortable. They failed. Jack and Emily sat next to each other for quite some time. Jack was really enjoying the company. It felt less alone with her next to him. He felt her warmth through his shirt as she shifted her weight around to find a good spot on that hard bench.

Emily opened her eyes. Despite the uncomfortable angle of her head, she must have dozed off. She was alone in the cabin, but she heard a soft sound on deck. She stood up and stretched her back before walking outside into the fresh night air. She couldn't see Jack from the entrance of the cabin, so she leapt up on the deck. On the bow, he was sitting next to Sammy. Shoulder movements indicated he was crying. She walked up to him and she kneeled beside Jack. Her hand touched his shoulder and he turned towards her. Emily could do nothing else but pull him in her arms and gently caress his shoulder and back. She made it a point to not try and shush him. He needed this, he had been holding his tears back for two days now. So all Emily did was hold him and all Jack could do was hold on to Emily like she was his anchor. Jack calmed down within a few minutes and they both sat down on the deck floor.

Emily had her back to the cabin window, Jack sitting next to her, his head rested in her neck. Jack immediately felt better with Emily there. What wás that between them? Emily watched him fall asleep. He was exhausted, obviously. She shifted him a little so he could rest his head on her lap and she had one arm free to pet Sammy. The sun was about to set in the distance and Emily loved this time of day. All quiet, no thoughts of revenge and fight. The world just a better place. She looked down at the familiar face in her lap, finally relaxed in his sleep. She saw unfamiliar lines in Jack's face and realized how much she missed out on in her own life and in his. If only things had turned out different. She stroked back hair from his face which the wind kept blowing back. Yes, in this spot, in this time, she found her happiness.


End file.
